7月份托福写作真题的分析和范文来啦!

托福考试2024-07-18 11:05:24欧米教育

作者:王鹤群博士

首先诚挚感谢ACT迷”的杨静老师提供的宝贵真题!你们的辛勤付出,让如下的真题解析成为可能。

对这一真题的解析

(英译中的部分暂略,因为如果连上面的英文都看不懂,就先不要准备托福了,先把单词和阅读好好练习起来吧。)

7月份的真题,出现了信息纷乱的特征。即:要把散落于文章各处的信息整合起来,才能让考生头脑清晰,从而确保自己不会写跑题。

因此,读题的第一步,就是整合信息,见如下所示:

题目的概括:

Do you think this is a good idea? Why or why not?

Governments should consider offering special funding to support young adults (aged 18-24) to experience a variety of cultural, artistic and musical activities.

为什么要概括题目呢?因为这次考试中,professor所说的话是信息散乱的,以上的信息很好的概括了他所讲的重点,而这个重点,就是我们答题的方向。

有关于支持与否的内容提示:

既然明确问了Do you think this is a good idea? 我们就要明确的回答是或者不是,因此就有了支持和反对special funding的两种态度。

而在7月份的真题中,我看到了三种态度,professor的话里有支持,Claire的话里是反对,而Paul的话里直接就是逻辑错误了。

  • 支持:“This can not only allow them to experience different forms of culture, but also develop a deeper appreciation for the arts.

  • 反对:“Young adults might spend the government’s money on events related to their friends only, such as attending a band live show. Howeverdoing this might not help them explore different cultures and arts.”

  • Paul的发言有问题,直接把a variety of cultural, artistic and musical activities定义为band live shows,这样的狭窄定义千万不能跟,我们要说的就是a variety of cultural, artistic and musical activities. 一旦我们被限定在bank live shows这个范围来回答问题,就有可能跑题。

明确了这几点,我们就看出:7月份的真题在阅读和审题方面提高了难度。出题者知道写100字左右的discussion 并不难,因此他们就在总结和过滤方面提高了难度,而我们要提防防的第一个错误,就是跑题!

因此,我的立意如下:

首先同意Claire所说的那种可能性,从而否定special funding 的形式。告诉大家:年轻人对于不同的文化艺术和音乐形式和内容还是很陌生的,需要一定的文化引导。因此,建议政府不是给予special funding,而是按照不同的艺术内容给予免费的门票,这样就可以引导年轻人很好地参与到这些活动中来,从而达到experience different forms of culture, but also develop a deeper appreciation for the arts这个目的。

有了这个立意,就知道自己选择的观点是“不同意”。 但是,囿于时间和字数限制,在写作的过程中不能很宽泛地写出“按照不同的艺术内容给予免费的门票”,只能落实在某一个具体的例子上。因此,我采用“观点+例子+结论”的结构,写出了如下的范文:

范文

I don’t think special funding is a good strategy because it is highly possible that young adults only want to spend the money to support their friends’ band live shows, as is said by Claire. Actually, I believe it is more effective for governments to give youngsters free tickets to various activities.
For example, free tickets are ideal to guide youngsters to view Chinese traditional operas such as Peking Opera or Yue Opera, both of which are national intangible cultural heritage portraying vivid stories or historical events. Although unfamiliar with these operas, young audience can immediately appreciate the highly skilled singing, speech, dancing, and combat, understand theater aesthetics and cultural backgrounds, and become deeply amazed by the virtuoso performances. Hence, the government can reach its goal of broadening youngster’s horizon, thus showing the efficiency of free tickets rather than the special funding.
范文解析:
  • 上面的范文是142个字,这对于托福初学者来说还是有点难的。因此,有可能需要进一步精简。
  • 上面的结构是很清晰的,第一段是观点,第二段是例子和最终的结论,这样的结构值得学生们学习。
  • 文中的难点有national intangible cultural heritage国家非物质文化遗产,singing, speech, dancing, and combat京剧里的唱念做打。这些是在日常生活中要积累的词汇。

如是,一篇托福作文就搞定了!希望大家都努力备考,考取很好的分数。

相关推荐